Catching Mr. Wrong

Catching Mr. Wrong Part 2: Strike A Match


The plot thickens….

Late Monday evening Geena messaged me through Facebook Messenger to tell me that she had broken up with Devin and that I could have him. I said well Hi Geena, thank you but I do not want him. I have not seen him since last Thursday, I broke up with him again. We started talking and comparing “notes” and screenshots and realized this scumbag had been seeing both of us at the same time. Sometimes fucking her early in the evening and then driving to me later in the evening to fuck me too. Unbelievable.

Then she says wait when did you start seeing him? I said July of last year. He was dating her friend Michelle starting in early February. We did not really break up until the weekend before Valentine’s Day. Geena said let’s bring Michelle into our chat. Now I had made two new friends. We figured out that there was A LOT of overlapping dates and visits. We were trying to put all the pieces together with screenshots and text messages. I said ladies this is too hard to do like this let’s get together and compare notes. We all agreed to meet for dinner Wednesday night.

I spent a big chunk of my day at work going through my texts and plotting all the times I had seen Devin, when he had stayed the night, when he was sending me naughty pictures, etc. There were a lot of pictures of his cock, boy he is proud of that thing. At least God decided to bless him with something because he sure did not give him a heart.

I decided it would be a good idea to buy a big desk calendar for all of us to jot down our notes, so I stopped by office max on my way home from work. I gathered some colored pens and off I drove to meet my new friends.

I arrived at the restaurant a little late and looked ridiculous walking in with that giant calendar. I found Michelle already sitting in a booth with a drink. She seemed very eager to start filing in her notes. I handed her a pen, I think she chose green. Geena was just hyper and all over the place. I had to reel her in to get her to fill in the calendar. Finally, I took the blue pen and referenced my google calendar and went to work filling in all those sleepovers.

He and I were off and on so much it is hard for me to keep it straight myself without the calendar in front of me. But what we discovered was just awful. I cannot even find the right word for how bad it is. I think we were there for 3 hours. Michelle could not eat, she was just nauseous,

It was worse than we even imagined! His first date with Michelle ended and then he drove to my house. He was with her that entire day, before the Valentine’s Day Break Up. That is why I never heard from him. After we broke up he called her up and said, “change of plans now I’m free.” So, they went out riding till 1 AM. That’s OK cause I was having revenge sex simultaneously. Take that Devin. The first time he said, “I love you” to Michelle and went down on her, then guess what? That is right he drove to see his buddy at Fed Ex aka me. Straight to the shower and toothbrush as per his norm. At least he has impeccable hygiene. But damn all of us must have huge water bills!

Then there was Geena, she was the latest victim. we started looking and it was atrocious. One day, he had sex with her 3 times and then drove to my house and had sex with me. Then again, the next morning before he left for work. He was getting here later and later because he was having dinner with her and hanging out, having sex with her and then right to Fed Ex.

I looked at the two of them and said ok we have all this information. Now, what are we going to do with it? We all thought for a good while. We finally decided that Geena would lure him out with the promise of sex. Michelle would come out of the shadows and I opted to watch the show from my bedroom through Face Time. Since I cannot use the Face time feature on my phone my 15-yr. old daughter, Elyse, offered to let me use her phone in exchange for a ticket to the show.

Our plan was set, Devin took the bait. We all just had to wait patiently to reel him in.

I walked out of that restaurant with the biggest smile on my face. I imagined I had just poured gasoline all over that calendar and threw a match over my shoulder. I had started a fire that could not be extinguished now.

Catching Mr. Wrong

Catching Mr. Wrong: Part 1 The Return of Agent Mom


One Saturday afternoon, Devin came by after soccer games. Devin never comes to see me without wanting to have sex but this time he acted strange and when I started to loosen his belt he said “No, I don’t want you to think I just came over for sex, but I would love to lick your pussy and make you cum.” Well who says no to that?

After, I asked him if he was going to come back so we could spend some time together since he did not have the boys. He responded nervously, “oh I have a lot to do like laundry and stuff so I don’t think so.” I thought that was weird and my secret agent radar sounded only slightly, probably because of the flood of endorphins caused by all the orgasms I had just had clouding my brain. After he left, I started thinking and recalling all sorts of little things I had subconsciously, been noticing. I also never received a “Good night, I love you Stephanie” that night.

As I stained my deck on Sunday morning, I kept thinking something is not right. I had that feeling deep down in my gut and my secret agent radar started to sound. Time ticked by and there was no “Good Morning Beautiful”. I checked his Facebook Chat Activity, nothing since last night. I knew he was still asleep, he always sleeps till at least 11 on the weekends. I kept thinking I bet he is not home. I just could not shake the feeling. I kept trying to, I did not want to be Agent Mom again. Finally, I realized it would not go away unless I confirmed my suspicions. I jumped in the car and headed over to drive by his house. It is a 40-minute drive so I had plenty of time to put some pieces together from the last few weeks.

As I turned onto his street I thought WTF am I going to say if he is home and sees me? I will look like a crazy bitch! As I got closer I saw that there was no reason to make any excuses his truck was not in the driveway. I was so angry, I was shaking so I parked at a nearby burger joint to collect myself. I thought what should I do? I decided to text him to see if he would even respond, he was now active on FB chat. So, I texted “Good Morning, are you being a sleepy head?” he said, “good morning sexy yes, I am.” I could not even respond for a minute, what do I say? “Well where are you waking up, because you aren’t at home?” Crickets………………….

I drove home furious! We were not dating officially anymore. We never defined what we were when he popped back into my life/bed so I did not consider it cheating. It was most definitely lying though. All I had asked of him was honesty. I needed to know if he was sleeping with anyone else or if he got involved with anyone. I promised him the same as I had been on a few dates myself since our February break up. I was so mad that I had been lied to again and omission is a lie. After hours of no response I started angrily texting him.

I ended things with him AGAIN. I swore this time was I was serious. I would not ever speak to him again but….

The following day he apologized and somehow sweet talked his way back in. He was at my house and in my bed the very next night. I figured what the hell, I know he is fucking around but I can use him too. For the most part I really was but when the feels are involved it tends to complicate things.

A few weeks passed and he started becoming very distant again. The “I love you, Stephanie” turned to “I love you” and then “love you”. The texts came fewer and farther between. His visits got later and later. I got fed up and broke it off AGAIN! I was pretty sure the new girl was actually dating him not just fucking him. I was so angry that he would cheat on someone else with ME! I hate cheaters and to be a party to hurting someone in that way makes me see red. I have been the one hurt by that, so many times and the pain of such betrayal is like no other.

I decided to let her know that her boyfriend had been in my bed only a few days earlier. I would want to know and he could be putting our health at risk. I friend requested her on FB and sent her a simple message. “Hi Geena, you don’t know me. I am Devin’s ex-gf and for about the last 6 weeks or so he has been fucking me again. I saw him last Thursday night. I do not ever want to be the other woman. I do not want to sleep with him anymore if he is with you. Just in case you don’t believe me I can send you a few screen shots to verify.”

I was sure she would think I was just a crazy, jealous ex. I figured he would say so as well. Of course, I did not hear back from her. I did, however hear from Devin later that afternoon. I was driving home from work and he called me. He was angry, started to fuss at me and I stopped him quickly. I said you have no right to be mad at me. You are the one who made this mess and fucked around on someone who seems to be a nice girl. I told him that he should never tell me he loved me again because he did not know the meaning of the word. Love is a tangible thing, there is always evidence of love. He only expressed love in words. I told him I deserved the courtesy of the truth and if he respected me he would not patronize me with his bull shit lies. A lot was said, but the conversation ended with him apologizing and realizing he was not the one who should be angry. He said that he and Brianna were over, that she was so angry about my message that she dumped him.

A week or so passed and I did not talk to him. My best friend, Ryan, had come into town to visit. We were enjoying a walk in the park when Devin called. He wanted to know if he could come by to see me and if he could still have a painting I had made for him. I said sure I am just going to burn it if you do not take it.

So, he showed up at my house. He sat down on my bed and asked to talk. I said OK, do you still have a girlfriend? He said yes. He got closer, tried to pull me into him. I said no, you have a girlfriend. He said she’s out of town, so it is not cheating. I could not believe he said that! He did kiss me and I caved for a minute but I pulled away and I said do you say, “I love you” to her? He said yes. I told him I will not help you cheat on your girlfriend. I want a real relationship. I do not want a fuck buddy anymore and if he was not willing to give that to me then we needed to part ways. I refused to sleep with him. I told him flat out I would not be with him if he had a girlfriend and that it was time for him to go home.

Late that night he texted me a pic of his painting on the wall and the goosebumps on his arm from how it touched him. You see the painting was made at his request. He asked me to paint what I feel when I think about him. It was intense and the colors deep, it was filled with energy and passion because that is what I felt when I thought of him. He told me that he broke things of with Brianna because it was me he really loved and she was crazy. He asked what will make you happy? blah blah blah.

I asked him if he wanted to make me happy and give me what I needed and deserved? He said he did. I said do you want to be here with me now? He said yes, so I told him to come on over. He got here and we had dirty, sweaty, passionate sex for hours as usual. He stayed the night and had pancakes with me and Ryan the next morning. He left but came back two nights later, Monday.

Thursday I invited him over and he said yes but it will be later I am helping a buddy with his car. I said that’s fine. He did not arrive until at almost 11! Of course, he needed a shower, as always. Running up my damn water bill!

The next day I thought more and more about all the things that were flaws in his story the night before and decided to call him out on all of them. I do not normally do this because I do not like to tell a liar how I can decipher his lies. That just helps them to lie better the next time. Never show all your cards ladies. Patience is a virtue and imperative when catching a cheater.

This time I knew I had to confront him. I had noticed enough holes in so many stories, and I wanted him to know it. I listed every clue he had given me the night before, he of course refuted all of it. His excuses were weak and I told him that I was done being lied to and we “broke up” AGAIN. This time my resolve was strong. He tried apologizing. I remained silent. Finally, he stopped texting. A few weeks went by and then one morning out of the blue, I got a notification saying Brianna had accepted my friend request. Hmmmmm…