Devin and I began spending every spare moment with each other. He drove to my apartment almost every night. We really could not get enough of each other. He was like a breath of fresh air to me. He appreciated everything and anything I did for him. I always made him breakfast before work. The first morning after he had stayed the night I made his eggs the way he liked them and biscuits. He talked about how I made him “scratch biscuits” for months. He smiled that big sexy but almost childlike smile every time he saw me. He was so smitten, it felt good for someone to think every little thing about me was awesome. He complimented my eyes, lips, hair, body, especially my nice round ass. He thought I was funny and smart. He wanted to help me do anything and everything. He would bring me groceries since he ate at my place so much. He even would bring soap for all those showers we had to take.
He always wanted to talk to me, touch me, be with me, and of course fuck me as much as possible. Our chemistry was intoxicating, it really felt like I was becoming addicted to a drug. I was still being very guarded with my heart and emotions. I reminded myself repeatedly that it was only infatuation and lust.
He on the other hand, would stare at me while holding me and his eyes were saying I love you but my eyes would warn him not to say the words. He knew I was trying to keep things more casual. He knew my past and all the hurt. One day he pulled me onto his lap, wrapped his arms around me, and said “Stephanie, I will never hurt you. I promise”. I got a little angry at that statement. I looked him square in the eyes and said “No, don’t even say that because it’s a lie. Everyone hurts you at some point, it’s inevitable so you cannot make that promise”. I learned a long time ago, that the more you care about someone the greater their potential to hurt you.
As Devin and I spent more time together no matter how hard I tried to keep my emotional distance, he was breaking my walls down, one brick at a time. He was holding back that “I love you” so hard.
I noticed plenty of “red flags” but I ignored them. I was just enjoying things too much.
One night, that I will never forget as long as I live or do not have Alzheimer’s, we were making dirty, sweaty, passionate love. Devin was on top of me when he stopped pulled his head up so he could look deep into my eyes, stroked my hair and said, “I love you, Stephanie” and he kissed me so deeply that it took my breath away. I think I even cried a little. I told him that I loved him too but I was not sure I meant it yet. But seriously, what kind of a bitch would I be to say thank you or something else besides “I love you”? I just went with it because it was just too beautiful of a moment.
The months went by and Devin and I were inseparable. My kids met him and he became a somewhat permanent fixture around our home. I loved how much he doted on me and always said “thank you” and “I appreciate you.” I never really had that in all my years with Lee. So, it was extra special to me. I began to love Devin. It wasn’t that once in a lifetime, soul mate kind of love, but I grew to care about him a lot. Besides all those wonderful sweet things about him the sex was so amazing, I cannot even find the words to describe it. He did anything I wanted, he never disappointed me and I have been told I am quite insatiable, so that’s really something. We would make soft, sweet, passionate love and then it would turn to dirty, sweaty, rough, and awesome sex. Being older, I taught him some new tricks. I sometimes felt like Mrs. Robinson. He was a good student. I was a very happy woman. My weight loss skyrocketed. I do not know if it was because of all the extra “cardio” or just all the rushing of endorphins. It was probably both. So my sexy was back in full force.
We went on this way for months and never tired of each other. He helped me move into my new house. He introduced me to his kids and Mom. He fixed stuff around my house too! That one really got me. I always had to be Ms. Fix It when I was married. Lee did not know how or even if he did was too lazy to fix anything. With Devin, I did not even have to ask. If he saw something that needed fixing he just pulled out a screwdriver and fixed it right then and there.
Then suddenly, right after Christmas, I felt a shift in Devin’s behavior. He began to feel a bit distant. It was not really anything big I am just really good at reading people. My radar detected something ever so slight.