Meeting Mr. Wrong-Part 5

valentine-day

The First Goodbye

I bought two tickets to a comedy club for Devin as a Valentine’s Day present, I told him it was a surprise and not to make any plans for Saturday night. He said ok but did not seem very excited. Saturday rolled around and I barely heard from him. I waited patiently as I hate to be needy or a nag.

I started getting ready early. I wanted to look extra sexy. I looked at the clock and it was already 6 o’ clock  and still nothing from Devin. I started to get irritated and texted him to call me asap. He had never even asked the details of my plans, what he should wear, what time, should he meet me at my house? It was like he totally did not give a shit. He took forever to text me back to say that he was out riding and was going to put his bike up and head over.

I was furious! We needed to leave in about an hour. He did not have time to make it to my house shower, change, and leave on time. I said don’t bother, I will go alone and we are fucking done! I will not deal with your inconsiderate bullshit anymore! We argued back and forth for a while but I decided to find another date.

A few days earlier, my first Tinder score, Brian texted me to see how I was doing. I had really liked him but then after our one night wonder, I didn’t hear back from him. Then I met Devin and our chemistry was so strong I decided to forget all about Brian. Of course, I heard from him a week after I met Devin.  I told him I was seeing someone and he said he understood and would respect that and I did not hear from him again until that fateful night.

It was perfect timing. He was free and eager to meet me even on such short notice. So, we decided to meet for dinner and then the Comedy show. Yes, he bought me dinner! Devin had not taken me to dinner in months. We had a great time laughing and I did not think about Devin at all. We also had good chemistry and being the slut I am, I asked him if he would like to come home with me.

The next day, you guessed it Devin came over to bring me the key to my house and get all of his things. We talked for a long time. He confided that he was frustrated about us “taking our relationship to the next level” I did not understand what he was trying to say at first.

He went on to say he didn’t see how we could ever live together being 40 minutes away from each other. He couldn’t move here because he could not be that far from his kids. I couldn’t move there because, well my kids are here. I asked him, who said anything about living together? I realized he meant HE wanted that but couldn’t see how we could make it happen. He said, I live with my mom, I cannot support you or give you the things I want to give you. He even mentioned marriage. I was like WHOA, hold up! I never asked for any of that. He said well I think about it all the time. I didn’t really know how to react to that.

He pulled me onto his lap on the couch and hugged me so tight. He had tears in his eyes, (Devin does NOT cry) he told me he loved me more than he had ever loved his wife and that he always would. We both knew it was the end though.

Even after deciding we were over, being that close to each other, we could not help kissing and the kissing led to him placing his hand under my shirt on the small of my back then to me running my hands over his big full biceps, I felt that familiar hardness of his cock under me. He looked at me and said, “please go take your clothes off so I can feel your skin pressed against me.” I melted like an ice cube in the sun. We climbed into my bed naked and he pulled me against him so tight I almost couldn’t breathe. It felt like he wanted to crawl inside me. He just held me for a long time kissing me and rubbing those hands up and down my back. We ended up making dirty, sweaty, passionate love, or you could just call it break up sex.  Don’t judge, he is my kryptonite!

He left and I did not see or talk to him for a few weeks. Until he resurfaced during Spring Break.

Meeting Mr. Wrong Part 3: The Honeymoon Phase

honeymoons

Devin and I began spending every spare moment with each other. He drove to my apartment almost every night. We really could not get enough of each other. He was like a breath of fresh air to me. He appreciated everything and anything I did for him. I always made him breakfast before work. The first morning after he had stayed the night I made his eggs the way he liked them and biscuits. He talked about how I made him “scratch biscuits” for months. He smiled that big sexy but almost childlike smile every time he saw me. He was so smitten, it felt good for someone to think every little thing about me was awesome. He complimented my eyes, lips, hair, body, especially my nice round ass. He thought I was funny and smart. He wanted to help me do anything and everything. He would bring me groceries since he ate at my place so much. He even would bring soap for all those showers we had to take.

He always wanted to talk to me, touch me, be with me, and of course fuck me as much as possible. Our chemistry was intoxicating, it really felt like I was becoming addicted to a drug. I was still being very guarded with my heart and emotions. I reminded myself repeatedly that it was only infatuation and lust.

He on the other hand, would stare at me while holding me and his eyes were saying I love you but my eyes would warn him not to say the words. He knew I was trying to keep things more casual. He knew my past and all the hurt. One day he pulled me onto his lap, wrapped his arms around me, and said “Stephanie, I will never hurt you. I promise”. I got a little angry at that statement. I looked him square in the eyes and said “No, don’t even say that because it’s a lie. Everyone hurts you at some point, it’s inevitable so you cannot make that promise”. I learned a long time ago, that the more you care about someone the greater their potential to hurt you.

As Devin and I spent more time together no matter how hard I tried to keep my emotional distance, he was breaking my walls down, one brick at a time. He was holding back that “I love you” so hard.

I noticed plenty of “red flags” but I ignored them. I was just enjoying things too much.

One night, that I will never forget as long as I live or do not have Alzheimer’s, we were making dirty, sweaty, passionate love. Devin was on top of me when he stopped pulled his head up so he could look deep into my eyes, stroked my hair and said, “I love you, Stephanie” and he kissed me so deeply that it took my breath away. I think I even cried a little. I told him that I loved him too but I was not sure I meant it yet. But seriously, what kind of a bitch would I be to say thank you or something else besides “I love you”? I just went with it because it was just too beautiful of a moment.

The months went by and Devin and I were inseparable. My kids met him and he became a somewhat permanent fixture around our home. I loved how much he doted on me and always said “thank you” and “I appreciate you.” I never really had that in all my years with Lee. So, it was extra special to me. I began to love Devin. It wasn’t that once in a lifetime, soul mate kind of love, but I grew to care about him a lot. Besides all those wonderful sweet things about him the sex was so amazing, I cannot even find the words to describe it. He did anything I wanted, he never disappointed me and I have been told I am quite insatiable, so that’s really something. We would make soft, sweet, passionate love and then it would turn to dirty, sweaty, rough, and awesome sex. Being older, I taught him some new tricks. I sometimes felt like Mrs. Robinson. He was a good student.   I was a very happy woman. My weight loss skyrocketed. I do not know if it was because of all the extra “cardio” or just all the rushing of endorphins. It was probably both. So my sexy was back in full force.

We went on this way for months and never tired of each other. He helped me move into my new house. He introduced me to his kids and Mom. He fixed stuff around my house too! That one really got me. I always had to be Ms. Fix It when I was married. Lee did not know how or even if he did was too lazy to fix anything. With Devin, I did not even have to ask. If he saw something that needed fixing he just pulled out a screwdriver and fixed it right then and there.

Then suddenly, right after Christmas, I felt a shift in Devin’s behavior. He began to feel a bit distant. It was not really anything big I am just really good at reading people. My radar detected something ever so slight.

Meeting Mr. Wrong-Part 2: Ignition

Ignition

Ignition

Devin and I had our second date not long after the first. He asked to take me to a movie, of course I agreed. I could not wait to see him and kiss him. I obsessed over what to wear and I think I changed clothes at least 6 times. I still wasn’t back to the size I wanted to be, so I had a hard time in my closet!

As we sat watching the movie I could not concentrate at all. He had taken my hand and stroked my fingers and then put his hand on my thigh. I felt a surge of electricity with every touch. I leaned over and whispered in his ear, do you want to get out of here? I just want to make out, I don’t care about this movie. He laughed and led me to the parking lot.

We went to my car and immediately started kissing and touching each other. His body felt so good. It was firm and muscular but not overly. I cannot say how wonderful his hands and lips felt enough. Things got hot and heavy fast. My inner slut was yelling at me, so I decided to drive to a more private parking lot.

We drove around for a while until I finally found a spot that was dark and secluded, the library. Don’t laugh, it was the perfect spot! I had ben rubbing his cock the whole ride, but only over his jeans. He was so hard and It felt like something I needed to inspect further. I unfastened his belt and unzipped his pants in record time. I pulled out the biggest, hardest cock I had ever seen. He also had a large Prince Albert piecing, something I was curious about. I gave into my inner slut and leaned over to put it in my mouth. I just could not help myself I needed to feel it.

After he came, he kissed me deeply and passionately, my breathing was so heavy and quick. I wanted him so badly. He decided to return the favor and unbuttoned my jeans and I don’t think it took more than 5 minutes to cum. I’m not sure how long we stayed in the car making out more, but it was just so intense I did not want it to end.

Reluctantly I drove back to the movie theater and dropped at his car. I still remember that goodbye like it was yesterday. It took forever, neither of us wanted to go home. Finally, he did get into his car and drove away. Almost immediately he started sending me texts saying how much he enjoyed our date. Duh.

We decided to go out again the very next night! We met for dinner and he sat across from me in the booth and held my hand until the food came, staring into my eyes again. He never looked away and neither did I. I could tell he wanted me just as much as I wanted him. I don’t even remember what I ate because all I could think about was leaving. He got in my car again so we could make out. Things escalated quickly as my hands went right for that big cock. Again, he was rock hard. I said let’s find a spot again, I want you so bad. We had a repeat of the night before behind a restaurant. I could not get enough of him and I could tell the feeling was mutual.

That Saturday he asked me to meet him at his house to “hang out”. I was so excited and nervous as I drove the 40 minutes or so to his house, or should I say his mom’s house. Yeah, he lived with his mom. I thought nothing of it since he had just gotten a divorce and was trying to get his finances on track again. Anyway, I got there and he had made me breakfast. I don’t think Lee ever made me breakfast once in the 20 years we were together. That just melted my heart instantly. He was really good at doing that already. I could barely eat because we were looking at each other in that mesmerizing way again. Finally, he said let’s go and pushed my plate away and pulled me to his bedroom kissing me all the way there. He guided me to lay down on his bed and quickly took off his clothes and started removing mine as well. When he slid his cock inside me it was both pleasure and pain. He felt amazing, every part of him. He fucked me slow and gently at first I think I must have came 3-4 times. He was the best I had ever had, hands down. Then I rolled him off me and climbed on top of him and rode him so hard and intensely. Again, and again I came, it was fabulous. His eyes, literally rolled into the back of his head as he came.

After, he admitted that he had been nervous beforehand. He was intimidated by my past with Lee and our many poly relationships. I am older than him and obviously have a lot more sexual experiences. He worried he would not be up to par or last long enough. He could not have been more wrong. He told me it was just as mind blowing for him. I remember telling him. “it’s easy with the right partner” I think we fucked 2 more times before I went home. I was floating and totally addicted to his “love”, already.

Meeting Mr. Wrong: The Tinder Experiment

Tinder2

 

I left Lee in the fall of 2014. We tried making things work but too much damage had been done. Too many lies, lonely nights crying alone, hateful words, and explosive fights. Love is not always enough and I have and never will love anyone as much as Lee, but it was time to close that book.

We spent the two years we were separated pulling ourselves out of the wreckage that our lives had become, we spent time forgiving each other and growing a new friendship. I decided it was time to leave behind the Oreos and ice cream and hit the gym again. I had gotten so fucking fat in those two years. I hated my reflection in the mirror, I could barely look at myself anymore. Now that my heart was mending my body needed some work.

One of my former clients, Jessica, happened to message me one day to say she needed “The Stephanie Diet” again. I laughed and said so do I. We decided to get back to the gym again as training partners not trainer and client. I needed the motivation just to get there every day. My return to sexy began. I had Lee write me up a new diet and workout routine.

Jessica and I hit the weights and I ate grilled chicken till I thought I would throw up. The weight started to melt away and so did my self-loathing. I started to feel sexy and confident again. I was also becoming a new, stronger, happier woman. I thought “now it’s time to date”. Well sort of, I did not really want a relationship but I needed to get laid something awful. It had just been too long.

I signed up for Match.com and started searching for the perfect friends with benefits. I found very little in the way of man candy there. I went on a few dates with some pretty average looking men. I was not impressed. I was about to give up. Then I went to visit my life long bestie, Ryan in Austin, Texas.

I was telling Ryan of my bad luck with dating and she said if you just want to find a fuck buddy why don’t you try Tinder? Tinder? What’s that? She looked at me like I had two heads and said how do you not know what Tinder is? I am married and I know about it. She told me all about how this amazing app worked. I downloaded it immediately. We started swiping and matches came almost immediately. I started talking to some men and was amazed at how easy it was to find someone who was hot and who peaked my interest. She was intrigued by it as well and played around with it some too. We talked dirty to a few and laughed so hard.

 

When I returned home I could not wait to see what was available in my area. I was disappointed in the selection here as far as looks go. I was searching in my own age group, 38-45. I went on lots of dates. I even had 3 dates in one day, just because I could and it makes for a good story. I love a good story.

I finally went on a date with a man that I felt some chemistry with. He was 40ish, handsome, smart, had a good career and head on his shoulders. We hit it off and I ended up being a slut that night and went home with him. It had been so long since I had been with a man I just could not wait any longer. We had really great sex, or maybe it was just because I was in such a bad way. I went home and did not hear from him again. I though oh well, back to the drawing board.

I got back on the Tinder horse again. This time I was not finding much to swipe right on so I decided to lower my age group a little. I changed it to 30-45. Then I started swiping again when I came across a very good looking 33-year-old man. His name was Devin. He was big and bald with a goatee. Although I had swiped right and matched with him, I hesitated to talk to him right away. He reminded me very much of Lee, that scared me. I went on more unsuccessful dates and then about 2 weeks after matching, Devin messaged me.

We talked for a long time. He seemed really cool. He started calling me every day after work and we talked about all sorts of things. He said he had not talked to me for a while because he thought I looked fat in my pics! I was like really asshole, I am not fat!

We decided to finally meet. We agreed on dinner at Houston’s. When I arrived, he was already there waiting outside. As soon as I saw him I felt sparks even from a block away. He was big, tall, somewhat dark, and so fucking sexy. At dinner, I sat across from him and I don’t think I ever stopped looking into his eyes. We talked, laughed and stared at each other shamelessly.

We left the restaurant and decided to walk around the plaza for a while. He took my hand and his huge hand just swallowed mine up. His touch was electrifying. He was so tall, I felt so tiny walking next to him. It felt amazing. I was already thinking that I was in deep shit with this man, I was like putty in his hands. We talked and talked and I could not stop staring into his eyes. I don’t even remember what we talked about.

It was getting late and I asked him to walk me to my car. When we got to my car I really did not want the date to end, so I said why don’t you get in and we can just sit here and talk more? He climbed into the passenger seat of my little Honda CRV. We didn’t talk very much, he leaned in to kiss me. OMG, fireworks went off like the 4th of July! He was the most fabulous kisser EVER! We made out in my car for what seemed like an eternity and he couldn’t stop telling me how soft my lips were and how great of a kisser I was. I knew for sure that I was done for at that point.